Shake Shack: Part I

TheTustler: I feel like your blog production has slowed as of late
TheTustler: haha
Me: you feel?
Me: it HAS
TheTustler: Yeah
TheTustler: I'm really in need of daily reading material
TheTustler: And the once a week isn't doing it for me

There's nothing quite like a good kick in the pants. I appreciate friends telling me that I'm slacking. I know if they're not reading my blog, nobody is. So thank you, Tustler. I will keep your daily Web surfing routine in mind when I contemplate missing a day's (week's) worth of blogging.

I skipped the gym today so I could expedite the blog updating process. Only I ran into a slight detour. I read several months ago that a Shake Shack was opening on the upper west side and I was shocked and excited. First Magnolia and now Shake Shack? Two New York institutions live on my walk home from work. It's too good to be true. Or is it too bad? I guess skipping the gym is not going to be an option anymore.


I had just eaten a big lunch, but could not walk by the Shack and not order something. I approached the big windows and glanced inside.

,

"Shake what?" A young man with sunglasses the size of his head shouted.

"Shake Shack!" The chorus of sassy girls replied.

A crew of rowdy teenagers with their blizzard gear and backpacks were all huddled in front of the menus outside. I'm sure they were falling asleep in Ancient Civilization less than a half hour ago and now they were more hyper than four-year-olds on Nerds. The menu may as well have been in Mandarin. They were so confused I don't think they knew what neighborhood they were in.

"What the hail ee-ihs thee-yis?"

"Shake somethin'!"

"Just MOVE!"

One of the taller girls towards the back pushed her pack of friends in the doorway and I shook my head in laughter and followed.


It was organized chaos. There were ropes and signs everywhere directing you with different arrows where to stand, which direction to face, what was up, what was down and where to order. They even had a young man sporting his Shake Shack T-shirt and hat, ready to take your questions. He was like the guy at the mall at the information booth, only he had no mall maps and no booth.

"When did you guys open?"

"Just yesterday," he replied with a smile.

"Great!"

I mentioned to a co-worker that he had to get a burger on his way home and he had already tried, though with no success. He said the lines were too long. I guess that's a good sign, though these places always have a honeymoon phase.



I nervously approached the counter like I was approaching the bench. I couldn't fit in a burger, and when I spotted the crinkly fries on the steel shelves ready to go I blurted, "Fries, please!"

"Sure. What's your name?" The girl behind the counter smiled at me like the Cheshire Cat.

"Mona."

"That'll be $2.75. This will vibrate when your order's ready, Mona."

"OK!"



It was amusing that I needed the little gizmo when I ordered something that was staring at me in the face. I took three steps back from the counter and the gizmo started vibrating. I thought I was part of some practical joke. I guess my fries were done. I put some ketchup in the little to-go containers and walked across the street to the benches to snack on my first local Shake Shack purchase.



These were no Nathan's crinkly fries. I was bummed. They had all the trappings to be one of my new favorite snacks. They even looked the part with lightly golden centers and darker brown edges. Only I bit in and it was like biting into an empty French fry -- all the potato had been sucked out. I love crispy French fries, but I like tasting the soft, warm potato inside and these babies didn't have it. Their beauty was only skin deep.

A woman sat next to me on my bench with her Shake Shack bag in one hand and her Bugaboo SUV in the other. I noticed her inhaling a cheeseburger.

"How is it?" I asked, "I only tried the fries."

"The burger's good," she replied, "Better than the fries."

She must have sensed how underwhelmed I was.

"Well that gives me something to look forward to. I only had room for the fries today."

She smiled and shook her head and I let her enjoy the rest of her mid-day snack.

I headed home at a quick pace. Maybe if I walked at a rapid clip I'd feel less guilty for eating fries I wasn't crazy about. I decided to do Shake Shack in three parts. Next I'll try the concreation, and for the final act, I'll try the burger. I don't expect it to hold up toJ.G. Melon's burger, but I'm hoping for more satisfaction than I found in the French fry skins.

UWS: 366 Columbus Ave., corner of 77th St.
Madison Square Park: Southeast corner, near Madison and East 23rd St.