Choptank

"Hey! We're going to grab dinner tonight at Choptank. Would you guys like to join? It looks v. yummy, classic B'more food," wrote Fashionista.

"Only if you promise the hush puppies will be authentic. I'm in," said BYOWino.

Fashionista made reservations for five of us at Choptank, the new Chesapeake Bay-themed restaurant in the west village. She's a sucker for anything that says Maryland or crabs so I knew it wouldn't be long until we ended up there, whether it was for FTDC or another occasion.

My friend Sunkist was visiting from Colorado and I asked Fashionista if we could crash her and JerseyBoy's date night at Choptank. Every Friday they are in town they pick a restaurant off Eater's 38 (their list of essential New York dining spots). For this place they were making an exception. I wanted Fashionista to meet Sunkist and after a full day of back-to-back dance classes, I knew Sunkist would be up for a good, hearty meal.

Sunkist and I went to school together in Charlottesville and we moved to Snowmass, Colo., after 9/11. Sunkist went from being the star of Aspen's Crystal Palace to producing her own children's plays in Aspen. She is opening up a dance studio as well and part of her goal in coming to New York was to brushen up on some of the hottest trends in dance. I could devote an entire post to our hip hop class at the Ailey Dance Studio, but I'll save that humiliation and embarrassment for only my closest friends (and the unlucky passersby who got to watch my sorry butt wiggle and wag in the Ailey fishbowl studio).

Unfortunately, Sunkist had a class that night that went until nine. Reservations were at 8:30.

"We can shower at the studio so we can be quick to meet up," she texted.

I don't think Sunkist understood the whole New York reservation situation. I told her we'd play it by ear, knowing that we'd probably end up eating and meeting her somewhere after. Little Annie's in Aspen may let you hang out and casually wait for friends to arrive, but New York tables didn't quite work that way.

I'd already asked Fashionista to change her reservation once and I didn't feel like making her do it again. I e-mailed a few friends who I thought would be interested in dinner and we had one taker: BYOWino. Sunkist would join us later after her class and either sit with us or at the bar, depending on the space.

I was the first one to show up at Choptank. Since I'd been the annoying friend adjusting and readjusting our reservation, I was not going to be the annoying late friend. I walked in and felt sort of lost in the overly large empty space at the front for standing, checking in and waiting.

There were two high tables with stools on either side of the door by the windows. One couple sat with their Blackberries lit on the table. He would answer, she would stare off into space, he would hang up; she would answer, he would stare off into space, she would hang up. This little dance continued for about 10 minutes. They seemed to be meeting more people like I was, yet they had drinks and I did not. Hmmph. After checking in I sat down opposite them and watched the place in action.

The entrance space was straight up awkward. The bar behind the check-in table was a good four or five stairs up from ground level. They should have expanded the bar further towards the window and increased their stool surface area, while decreasing the over-sized pointless space in front.

As soon as Fashionista, JerseyBoy and BYOWino arrived, we exchanged hugs, left our tired winter coats with a host and headed off to our table. The main dining area scored high on the cool meter. Choptank was dominated by its two huge square-shaped bars in the middle of the room. The space with tables (and those who weren't cool enough to make the cut at bar seats) seemed like a lame after-thought. If you go to Choptank, eat at the bar. I immediately wished I was meeting one person instead of three so I could sit in front of the bartenders, drink out of a big wine glass and stare at the oysters all night.

The place was completely packed, yet somehow we scored the best table in the place - the end table right by the window. The dining area loops around to the left. After you pass the two bars you head down a few stairs again for the five or six tables on ground level.

We were big fans of the corkboard on each wall.

"I think we need to come in next time with a photo of all of us and just stick it up there," said Fashionista.

"Hells YES! Right in the middle of all the beach and sand scenes," said BYOWino.

"I love this plan," I added. I hope the wall has since filled up since we visited. It was looking a little sparse.

Our waitress came to the table for our drink order. Fashionista and I ordered a couple of cocktails while the boys ordered beers.

Our waitress was friendly and mildly attentive, but as sharp as a used piece of chewing gum.

"What happened to the hush puppies? That was one of the reasons I came," said BYOWino, half-jokingly, half-serious.

"Well...they had those in the beginning for our soft opening, then the chef must have taken them off the menu."

"Why?"

"I have no idea."

"Does the crab chowder have corn in it?" Fashionista asked.

"I have no idea."

"Do you mind...err... finding out?"

"Oh, you want me to find out? OK, sure."

The cocktails were pretty intense. Mine was the size of a pint-glass and half-filled with ice. Potent. Fashionista's came out and I wanted to ask, "That's it?" It looked awfully silly next to my gargantuan drink.

She tasted hers and was unhappy. It was a bit too heavy on the gin and you could barely taste the St. Germain, not to mention it was warm and would have tasted a million times better chilled. I liked mine, mostly for the ginger and huge ice cubes, and would definitely order it again.

For starters we tried the crab claws. We tried ordering the crab dip and chips off the menu, but the waitress informed us each table got a complimentary order. This was a nice gesture, but perhaps best to take that off the menu.

The crab claws were chilly and tasty. I'd recently tried them for the first time at Momofuku Ssam and was sort of underwhelmed. Maybe I'm just not a hard core crab person, but I felt the same way here. You don't get much meat for the price. The crab dip was cold and the potato chips were warm.

"Is crab dip supposed to be cold or hot?" I asked the pro.

"It varies. It can be either way," said Fashionista.

We finished the dip but it was too heavy on the cream cheese with not enough crab.

JerseyBoy and I ordered the fried oyster po' boy for our main meal, BYOWino ordered the steak and Fashionista ordered the crab chowder and peel 'n' eat shrimp.

I looked at my sandwich and without even tasting it I could tell it had disappointing written all over it. When I order a sandwich I want all parts blended into one. The bread was as cold as brick and I was tempted to throw it across the room like a frisbee. This was the work of one of Eric Ripert's (Le Bernardin) apprentices? There were maybe four oysters on the sandwich, it was devoid of sauce (except for a teaspoon) and there was shredded lettuce beneath it. The onion shoestrings were edible only because the other half of the plate barely was. I'm just not a big shoestring anything fan. I like my potatoes and onion rings fat and juicy please, not thin and dried up.

"I guess my po' boy bar is set too high. Have you guys ever been to Great Jones Cafe?"

"I think I went with you...no?"

"I don't think so? Well, anyway, best sandwich you'll ever have in your life. Their catfish po' boy. This one? Not so much," I explained. "How's yours?"

"It's actually really good," said Fashionista.

"That's good to know for next time. I definitely want to come back and chill at the bar. Can I try a shrimp?"

"Sure!"

She was right. She had the best thing on the table.

"How's yours, BYOWino?"

"Great!"

"What are those? Is that a sauce?"

"No, they're like liquid mashed potatoes. Try some."

I did and they were really tasty. In my carnivore days I would have snagged a sliver of steak from BYOWino, but alas I just had to look on with trust that it was very good. The mashed potatoes were like a dessert.


"Do you mind if we get a side of the dressing on the po' boy?" I asked our waitress.

"Umm, sure, you mean a side of dressing?"

"Yeah, whatever's on the sandwich. Can I get a side of it please?"

"Make that two sides, please," added JerseyBoy. We both agreed our sandwiches were too dry and needed some help.

"Sure."

We all kind of looked at each other cross-eyed. Something was slightly off with our waitress and we weren't quite sure what it was.

Then it happened.

"What the hell? I wasn't done with my drink!" I shrieked to the table.

I saw our waitress zip up the staircase with my half-drunk cocktail in her hands. She swung around and luckily we made eye contact and I waved her back.

"Sorry! I wasn't done with my drink yet," I said, shaking my head on the inside.

"Oh, sorry."

Taking a drink when it's not bone-dry, finished is one of my biggest petpeeves. And it wasn't like there was a gulp left. There was at least a good quarter of the cocktail still sitting waiting to be drank at the bottom of the glass.

We finished eating and began mapping out our plan for the rest of the night. I received a few texts from people that wanted to meet up.

Choptank employees started to clear our table and it happened again.

"I'm NOT done with my drink. Thank you."

I was laughing in disbelief. What is going on? What did I have to do? Tape the drink to my hands like we did in the game Edward 40-Hands? The servers and busboys at Choptank needed some coaching on table etiquette.

I understand the restaurant just opened and that a professional restaurant critic would wait several weeks, even months, before writing a review. I don't mean to pan Choptank entirely and I would like to go back. The oyster bar is definitely calling my name. I just hope this firsthand, early commentary will serve as a suggestion to the virtual suggestion box.

The prices were great. The bar area was awesome. I just wish the food had been as well. Choptank has a long way to go before making it on any "essential" list.