The Sunburnt Cow

Activista: This is my best Valentine's Day ever! Cheers to good girlfriends.

Me: What? Come on, Activista, you're sweet but... are you for real?!

Activista: I'm serious!

Me: I mean, I love you guys and I'll drink to good girlfriends... but I can't concur with that statement...yet.

I had grandiose plans for Valentine's Day. I expected the night to start out as a girls' gathering, to be interrupted by an onslaught of hot Aussie guys buying us drinks and sweeping us off our feet at The Sunburnt Cow.

Well, the girls' gathering never got interrupted, and the only hot Aussies were our female waitresses.

Blimey!

I was one of the first to arrive at The Sunburnt Cow and it wasn't what I expected. It was a small venue. The bar area was claustrophobic and the DJ that promised to play '80s tunes all night was awkwardly cramped between the bar and tables where people were eating to the loud jams. Where were we supposed to rock out to "Heart" or "Jesse's Girl"?

I scored a stool at the bar, but was peeved when I sat there for nearly fifteen minutes staring at the two male bartenders. I spoke with one woman about the Valentine's Day deal, which was $25 for all-you-can-drink and she informed me to get a wristband from the bartenders. They clearly had no idea what was going on. A staff disconnect is never a good sign.

It's one thing when male bartenders cater to other girls first. I'm fine with that. But when a party of dudes walked in after me in their business suits and they ordered before me...now that's more than I can handle. Finally, after a five minute stare-down between me and the weaker link behind the bar -- I think it was his first night-- I ordered a cocktail. There were a few options and I went with the "Illusion" Moo Juice: mango vodka, pineapple juice and midori. It was a fun first drink but it was way too sweet so I switched to the "Sunburnt" for the rest of the night: passionfruit-infused tequila with strawberries. This was the hit at the table.

Slowly, the girls started to arrive and we made our way in the back to a table. It was me, FoxyLady, Fashionista, LarchmontLass, Activista, LittleMissSunshine and Clover.

We ordered the calamari -- may very well be the best calamari I've had in a while, though it was very salty. I like calamari when you can actually taste the calamari more than the fried batter. These were great, and as you can see from the picture, very lightly fried. They came with kiwi and jalapeno salsa which was a cool twist on Italian marinara.

The burger was the most popular item we ordered. And as you can see the most popular with the camera. I couldn't get enough of it.

There were a couple of variations. Activista, our resident vegetarian, tried the vego burger. She said it was excellent.

I went with the burger with the lot: cheese, egg, beetroot, pineapple, tomato, lettuce, etc. It was juicy, it was sweet, it was enormous, it was perfectly cooked, it was probably the best novelty burger I've ever had anywhere. And the thick French fries were the perfect consistency. It was amusing trying to stick a 5''-high burger in my mouth, but after some good scrunching I figured it out.

Once we finished dinner, we stayed at The Sunburnt Cow for several more cocktails. We took turns going to the bathroom and scoping out the "talent" in the bar, and sadly the consensus was there was none. Oh well. Good times were still had by all, even if Valentine's Day did turn into a lush and gush rack pack. I guess I'll have to actually go to Australia to meet my Aussie surfer.

I wasn't crazy about the atmosphere in TSC. If you have to pick between TSC and Bondi Road (owned by the same people), I'd say go with Bondi- it's way cuter inside. Nonetheless, I am already craving the lot burger and the calamari. And I will be sure to ask Activista to come along, so despite the lack of romance in my life, she can remind me of my fortune of having such good girlfriends.

153 Rivington St., nr. Suffolk St.
212-253-5311