Coney Island

Every summer I have a craving for Coney Island. I consider it one of my guilty pleasures. I don't know what it is, or why, because after a day spent guzzling beer and Nathan's hot dogs, and hopping on and off the rickety rundown rides, I leave feeling like I never want to go back. It's crowded, it's dirty, it's expensive to go on the rides and play the games, and the boardwalk actually has a "freak show." I have never been the circus type, yet nevertheless, when the temperatures heat up and the days get longer, I am lured to Coney Island like I'm lured to Thursday happy hours.

FoxyLady and I decided to trek on the subway for a fun-filled afternoon of Coney craziness. We arrived at about noon and started the day off with a feast at Nathan's and a walk on the boardwalk. Girls gotta eat, right?


The lines were thankfully very short, yet we experienced a slight hiccup ordering our food. The interaction from start to finish was right out of a skit on Comedy Central. I speak Spanish and I tried to say cerveza several times, but you'd think I had been Jennifer Lopez. The girl taking our orders stared at me completely dumbfounded and could not punch the items into the computer. She glanced at me for what felt like three minutes while I repeated that I wanted a large beer, fries and a hot dog. Something must have clicked because she finally disappeared off to find someone who could help. Was this that outlandish of a request? Maybe Nathan's had become Nathanial's since I'd last been there and I should have ordered some saucisson and wine.

Another Nathan's girl came to the rescue and successfully punched in my order. Whew! I couldn't stare at the man making the hot dogs anymore -- I was about to hop over the divider and scoop two up myself, leave a $20 bill and say, "Skip the change!"

Next up, FoxyLady. She ordered the same thing I did minus the fries. Just two items: a beer and a dog. [Insert previous paragraph here.] If she thought I was J-Lo, she thought FoxyLady was Gwyneth Paltrow. The exact same thing happened not thirty seconds after I had finally successfully gotten my lunch. When was this girl going to figure it out? And this time, it took her longer to decide what to do. "Go get some help!" I looked at FoxyLady and just could not believe what was taking place in front of us. I understand first day jitters but this was unbelievable. If you can't take an order verbally, much less figure out what the patron owes then what the heck are you going to do?


We eventually made it to a seat, gobbled up our Nathan's goodies like we were in an eating contest against Kobayashi, and headed on our merry way. The beer tasted a little bit skunktified, but it was a cold beverage that we really struggled to get our hands on so we didn't care. As the beer warmed up, however, the bad taste intensified and we tossed them way before the last drop.


Next we took a stroll on the boardwalk. It was a beautiful day temperature-wise but the sky was a bit hazy. People of all shapes, ages, sizes and colors were out on the boardwalk: bare-chested men in spandex exercising, hairy-chested men lying face up on benches, young couples walking hand in hand, musicians toting their banjos and bongos, families with their beach toys, and FoxyLady and me. We ventured down to this building that was made famous in "Two Weeks Notice." To this day I don't know what it is or what it was used for. It's such a beautifully structured building it's a shame it sits in waste and ruin and graffiti. We poked our head inside and it was just a huge massive space. It would make for an awesome end of summer party.



We turned around after I snapped this picture. I really wanted to get a close up of the old man and his umbrella, chilling in front of the building like he was its guardian. Maybe he is. He had a radio, a book and protection from the sun-- what more do you need?

I took these few pictures from the pier. The pier is lined with fishermen, their tackle boxes and hooks. I was afraid I'd get snagged by something or someone. FoxyLady and I got a few catcalls and just kept on walking, focusing on the end of the pier. I'm not sure what these guys were catching right off the shore, besides the tourists' attention. We did see one guy toying with his latest catch. I saw a few photographers out capturing the local fishermen. I wondered if there was some sort of hierarchy, or territory on the pier. Did they have assigned spots? What happened if Diego was in Miguel's spot on Friday? Would there be a war of fishes?


From the boardwalk we headed to the New York Aquarium. I didn't even know New York had an aquarium. It was an affordable $12 for adults and it was the best money I spent all day. I was blown away by the aquarium. Upon first glance it looks like nothing more than a small bomb shelter. But once you walk inside it magically expands and there's a whole inner "courtyard" and there are all kinds of exhibits and species to explore: from sea otters that I usually only get to see off the coastline of Carmel, Calif., and walruses, to manta rays and sea turtles. It was a delight walking around and seeing all the creatures. I couldn't wait to get home, tell my friends to go visit and write about it. They even have a seal show which we foregoed to hop on the giant Wonder Wheel.


The Wonder Wheel was one of the two rides we hopped on that day. It's big, it's slow but the kicker is there are sliding cars, so once you get to the "sliding point," your car shoots down a track. This was a little hairy at first but I got the hang of it after a couple of times around.

Next we ventured onto the famous Cyclone coaster. There are no loops on the Cyclone. Frankly, if there were, this ride would have been shut down decades ago. It felt like the great-great- grandpa of roller coasters. Every turn and every drop we could hear its bones creaking and wincing like it was in pain, and once we headed up I wasn't sure we'd make it. I had been on it once before with Swimster but had forgotten the feel of it. FoxyLady said she got more of a kick out of my screaming and shrieking than the actual ride itself. If you have any sort of injury, whether it be a paper cut or a sore muscle, avoid this screamer at all costs.

After a few beers, playing and losing one of the games miserably -- I always unsuccessfully vie for one of the extra large stuffed animals -- we headed home. I was suffering from sun fatigue and feeling stuffed. The only other item of food we tried was an arepa from one of the boardwalk stands. It was miserably awful. I asked the lady ten times to heat it up more so the cheese in between the corn patties was actually melted, but like the lady at Nathan's , she could not comprehend the words that were coming out of my mouth.

Coney Island is getting a face lift, and while a lot of New Yorkers see this as a bad thing, I think it will be great. Maybe with some new restaurants and new rides, I'll want to go out multiple times a summer, rather than just once to get my yearly fix.