The White Elephant Party

White elephant, according to Wikipedia: a valuable possession which its owner cannot dispose of and whose cost (particularly cost of upkeep) exceeds its usefulness.

I'd never heard of such a thing until I received my first white elephant party e-vite last year from FunStar.

White elephant party, as interpreted by FunStar: an all-girls affair where each participant brings an item of sexy lingerie and gets exceedingly drunk off Prosecco and good food during an out-of-control gift exchange.

Instructions:

Starve yourself all day so you can fully enjoy the breadth of FunStar's cooking. Don't worry, I've included recipes below so you can all read it and eat.

Bring several bottles of Prosecco. One is not enough.

Load up on the brie and honey pastry -- it gets ugly later.

Pick a number out of a hat, preferably a high number. If you're no. 1, forget about it. Just open another bottle of Prosecco and call it a night.

Unwrap gift from pile and share with group while feigning indifference and disgust with your present. Maybe the rest of the crew will catch on and you'll actually get to keep the cuteness.

If you happen to be no. 5 and you like no. 4's present, don't mess around and try to be the big girl on campus like I did. Steal it.

Each successive participant, in the order determined from the drawing, can either a) steal an already opened gift, b) risk it and go for a gift from the pile, or c) regret doing either. If the participant chooses to steal, the person whose gift is stolen now repeats her turn and either steals another person's gift (not the one just taken) or unwraps a new one. Fun, huh?

Out of the dozen or so girls I think I was the only one who kept her initial present. I was the victim of a last minute pick-up. TarBabe even told me in private at the beginning of the night, "Man, I feel bad. I had no time. I just came from the Gap." Well, guess who picked her present. TarBabe, you know I have nothing but love for you. What can I say, I was drawn to the flashy silver bag.

The rest of the night was a blur of dancing on beds and headbanging to "All I Want for Christmas" while discussing next year's white elephant theme: sex toys! One or several of us may have called in sick to work the next day. Ahem!

I asked FunStar for a menu roundup to inspire you to throw that last minute party you've been itching to. Let's end 2008 with a bang, shall we?

FunStar: Should I make the queso or do you think we have enough food?
Me, channeling my Steve Carell "Kelly Clarkson!" outburst in "40-Year-Old Virgin": MAKE THE QUESO!

1. Queso – melt one 16-ounce block of Velveeta (look, Mom and Fashionista, something in it for you!) one can of Rotel tomatoes, a splash of milk and salt & pepper. Serve with chips.

FoxyLady: Mmm, these potatoes taste delicious!
Me: Umm, what potatoes?
FoxyLady: The ones with the goat cheese.
Me: They're pears!
FoxyLady: Oh ... I thought they tasted a little sweet...

2. Click here for pears with goat cheese recipe.


I normally hate baked fruit, but these were awesome. The key is not to overcook the pears and FunStar did them just right. They still had some firmness to them.

3. FunStar's deviled eggs: hard-boil 18 eggs (you will only use 12, the six extra are for the yolk stuffing). Mix in mayo to taste with the egg yolks (about 1/3 cup to get the right creaminess), 1 tbsp of mustard, Worcestershire to taste (about a tsp to a tbsp) and salt & pepper. Sprinkle with paprika for garnish.


4. Click here for barbecue/pulled pork bruschetta recipe.

This was probably one of my favorite dishes, though not pictured here. It was a great twist on the normally Italian bruschetta. Onions and barbecue on toasted bread -- it doesn't get much better than that.

5. Click here for red velvet cupcake recipe. FunStar made mini-cupcakes which was a great idea. You can kid yourself that you can eat more that way. She made about six dozen minis and instead of nuts, bring on the sprinkles.



6. Baked brie in puff pastry with apricot preserves: one sheet of puff pastry thawed, roll out and put approx ¾ cup of preserves in the middle (FunStar goes for the apricot, but you can use raspberry as well). Place small wheel of brie on top of the preserves and fold up the corners of the pastry. Mix one egg with water to brush on seams to hold pastry together. Cook for approximately 20-25 minutes on 350.

7. Caprese salad skewers: stack cherry tomatoes, fresh mozzarella and basil on a toothpick with balsamic vinegar for dipping. This is a simple addition to any party that not only tastes great but looks festive.

Do yourselves a favor. Throw a white elephant party. With the perfect mix of good food, drink and music it'll be the party everyone looks forward to each holiday season. Just ask FunStar. I bet she's already planning W.E. 2009.